I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
It's just like the Real World with babies
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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