I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
