drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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