He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
