there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
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I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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