"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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