Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
