omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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