why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
