well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
