Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I love having hate sex.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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