We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
