Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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