well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
