We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
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I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
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could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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