Porn is love you can see.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
