She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
