Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
