My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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