Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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