he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
