My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
