You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
