i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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