I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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