this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
