Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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