It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
