you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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