My balls are so social today.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
