I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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