are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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