She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
