is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
