If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
