dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
