Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize