I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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