its not stalking. its research.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
