Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
