she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
