Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
