I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
