He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize