i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
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