Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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