you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
