he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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