I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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