all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
