yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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