Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize