tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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