How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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