And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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