They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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