Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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