brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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