i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
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He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
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So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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