Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
