the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
