Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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