i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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