I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Is Oprah even human
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
How naked do you want me to be?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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