I think im going to throw up on grandma
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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