when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
