i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
