I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
