my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
